Hello, it's Lou Ford again and welcome to another edition of "Dirty Filthy Snuff". Today "What Really Chaffs My Nuts" is job interviews. So, what really chaffs my nuts are job interviews. Yes, that introduction to a new employment, and a new employer. It is that annoying, "put on a happy face" sometimes humiliating getting to know you where you'll sometimes met employers who's personalities make Ted Bundy's look like a kitty. These maybe the people who will cut corners, lay employees off and resort to slave labor just to maintain they're security. An one come to mind? How about Kathy Lee Giffert, Martha Stewart who by the way is still somehow americas' go to girl when it comes to home decor or creative ideas for the holidays. I think the  name of the companies softball team is "The Overseers". 

Anyway, these are the jobs where putting aside the internal politics, you run into the customer like the striaght man who cops an attitude because he has been sent out to buy tampons. To them I gotta say put a fucking leesh on it and stop making the employees who your buying the products from suffer for your humiliation. We all basically get the idea that if your buying feminine hygene products it's probably for your wife or girlfriend, and anyway if your such a man you gotta choice; don't buy them! Be happy your not buying lice shampoo to get rid of the crabs you got from that bar slut you fucked a few days ago. If your in line with that and antifucngal cream to boot, then by all means be pissed, take it out on me a little. Shit, tip me a little and I'll slap my self in the face, but other than that shut the fuck up cause just like at your job, I ain't got the time for your bullshit. How about this scene?

Here's an example of another embarassing situation, and don't anybody out there tell me that at some point you(if a dude) or someone you know hasn't gone looking for a vacum cleaner with the destinct purpose of sexual senual pleasure. But even if not just image this, some lonely guy walks in looking for a vaccum cleaner. The guy may seem legit that is until he takes one of the hoses and casually puts it up against his crotch. What do you do when you know that this guy wants a little vrum follow by a suction, an O face and ending with a massive hickie on the base of his penis. Unless this is the "Romantic Depo", if you work at a hardware store, you don't really want to do approach this douche, but your boss insists that you go and help the customer, and above may just happen. And where does this all stem from? Fucking job interviews, that's where. 

It call comes from questions like the one asked below.  

Seriously, what the fuck type of question is that? Where do I see myself in five years? Well could it quiet possible be getting screwed by you in a dead end job where my marriage turns to shit that's to the strees and my only release is paying transent hookers to tye me to an oak tree in a field and stangle me while I touch myself(sorry too much. I do get carried away). or how about this, I'll let the sketch comedy group "The White Kids You Know" school us in the right way to conduct yourself on a job interview. Take it away boys: 

And so what have we learned? Well, that lying on a job application is alright regardless of the consequences. That if you get cought about the lies on your job application, then it's okay to further spin the web of, and then if you get caught bribe the employer so he will give you the job. But FYI, twenty bucks ain't shit. Finally,  if your interviewer calls you on your lies, by oh lets say, calls in an employee you said you knew from a previous job, then hey you can always kill the guy claiming he's a zombie who wants to munch on some brains.. Why not, and while your at it be on a shit load of Acid while your at it just to make it fun. So chew on that for a while, and until next time, this is Lou Ford signing off.

FIN  

Check this out!

Isn't this interesting, arousing, and a bite confusing. Yeah I know, it's Korean Pop music. Pretty kool, right? It's like Beyonce meets Kimchi. But now on to the real shit/









Hello, and welcome to another issue of "Dirty Filthy Snuff". I will start this issue with what were all truly here for, "What Really Chaffs My Nuts". And so without further a due I will begin. There is breaking news of NATO Forces have burned Qur'ans. Now as it was noted in the New York Times, the destruction of the Qur'an in one of the worst offenses in Islam. Plus to add on to that, many of the Afghans are viciously protective of their faith as was proven when they ransacked a United Nations office and killer 12 in April after hearing about a Florida preacher who burned just one Qur'an. Now I just got ask one question, what type retard do you have to be in an overwhelmingly Muslim country, that is still in the mist of civil unrest, and decide to burn they're holiest of holy books? I just got one question exactly how fucking dumb do the NATO, and our military personal have to be to actually believe that in a nation that nowhere nearly as controlled as the west would like it to be, that they could actually drive a truck full with bags containing many copies the Qur'an to a fucking land fill where Afghans work, and somehow not expect someone to figure out what the hell is going on? The workers at the landfill were watching what the military personal was doing. Is our foreign policy that thick headed that we didn't believe there'd be a back lash?

Forget about the "Rice Crispy" cereal dwarfs, the second part with Peter's great, great uncle, the Siamese twins who fought each other in the Civil War. They hadn't really thought it through had they? Just like the Military personal in Afghanistan.

I mean, I'll ask the question once again, How fucking retarded do you fucking have to be to intentionally or unintentionally to burn the fucking holiest of holy books of a national religion. That would be like a drunken french men taking a shit in the main corridor of the U.S. Embassy and then using our flag as toilet paper. If that happened there'd probably some type of upheaval. The citizens of our nation would be pissing on table of every french restaurant in sight, burning pictures of the "Pink Panther" and demanding a boycott on the damn "French Open". I think it's pretty safe to say that the west has a fucking P.R.

Now I get the tenderness of the whole religious situation these days. I understand the stigma that is connected to both Islam and the Western World. The anger that is connected to both, and in reality who can blame both sides for their rage, the harm caused by what many would call the actions of "Islamic Fundamentalist" or the brutality of an invading foreign army that seems more bent on taking advantage of you rather than help but in all honesty, if your part of a NATO peace keeping force, maybe it would be good not to commit acts that would anger the general public to the point that they react violently. That wasn't very well thought through was it. A fucking cluster fuck of idiocy. Congratulations democracy for once again giving freedom a bad fucking name. Moving on.

Here is something for ya!

Yeah I know it raunchy, but come on it's funny! And don't tell me that you adults out there haven't at some point be freaked out by the idea that someday you or your lover won't end up accidentally using glue or Icy Hot  instead of lub for your more adventurous excursions. I think about it. When your in the middle of the sweaty panting and groping and it's time to get frisky, and become an explore kinda like Columbus or that frontier may only have be undiscovered by you. Anyway, you apply it liberally, but then before the fun begins all of a sudden there's a burning, chilly, fiery sensation. Or if it's glue a statuesque harsh frozen paralysis takes over. You try to pull away, but your skin tightens. The more you begin to resist, and panic, the worse the pain. Your  pubs, I said pubs haha! Any way, those little hairs get torn the fuck out as you yelp in pain. If you the dude in that situation you all of a sudden realize that one of your bal ... before I go any further this part of the program contains material that may not be suitable for some viewers, parental or prudish guidance is recommended. That is unless your a sadomasochist which if that is the case then I won't go any further why do I just stop because your probably aroused. So go get you lub, make sure that it's lub, and enjoy yourself.  

So with that I'll close, but before I do all my readers out there please remember one thing, this blog is meant to be funny. While there is some serious under tones, still it is written with go intention. Please don't take offense, I mean no harm. If I have offended  you then by all means write me. You can leave a comment. I would like to hear from you so I can make changes. So until next time, this is Lou Ford.

FIN