Dirty Filthy Snuff

Hello, and welcome back to another installment of “Dirty Filthy Snuff”. In this issue I am going to start this off in the usual fashion, “What Really Chaffs My Nuts”. What Really Chaffs My Nuts is Joe Paterno, or as I titled it “The Father who knew best down fall”.

What really chaffs my nuts is/was Joe Paterno. Yes the legendary football coach, and supposed Titan Joe. That “great man” (I use that term loosely) was a narcissistic, self indulgent asshole who thought that King Kong didn’t have shit on him (yes a reference to “Training Day”). The head coach who had done much to help all his athletes graduate college with a C average, and produce the best college football around had a dark secret. And what was that horrific secret? It was this guy:

That’s right we all know about the Sandusky sex scandal. That was, in case you weren’t aware, when the Pennsylvania State University Assistant football coach had been allowed with the help of none other than the late great Joe Paterno to sexually abuse children (young boys to be specific) who were associated with the children’s charity he started called “The Second Mile” for 14 years. During that time many facility members were very much aware of the “extra curricular” activities of Sandusky, and yet due to the need to protect the flawless school reputation, and more importantly the football program, the higher ups like Joe ran interference to cover up those crimes. After the allegations came out what was even more horrendous and pathetic was that the students of that great institution decided that despite so many accusations the best thing to do next was riot. And then who can forget challenging , oh so difficult decision of whether or not to keep up the bronzed statue of Paterno at beaver stadium.

/Now what really chaffs my fucking nuts about this is not so much Sandusky anymore cause at least that mincing, boy hungry pedophile has been dealt with in some way, but what got me was the deliberate enabling of a serial rapist for the purpose of looking good. But before I go any further (and let me remind you that this is a rant, yes a fucking rant) I just got to ask this; is there a manual on how to come on to a child? I am being literal here, and before you condemn me let me finish here. I ask this because if you remember one of the most infamous accounts of Sandusky’s abuse was his raping of a boy in the Athletic locker shower of Penn State which was witnessed by a fellow coach by the name of McQuerry, ,or as some may know him the tattling ginger, and when Sandusky was asked about it later he said that it was just “horse play”. That’s strange because I had no idea that horse play included anally penetrating a crying shivering youngster in a locker room shower. Saying that, I would like to go further and ask if violently pop the butt cherry of a prepubescent boy is, or rather is the excuse of horse play make it ok? Another thing is where in the job description of a “big brother” role that one of the ways to mentor children is to violate them in the worst way imaginable? I mean did Denizal Washington who was a spokesman for the “Boys and Girls Club” decide to have a sex sandwich with two of the youths as some perverted way of giving them a lesion on life? Fucking Really?

And why the fuck did it take that fucking tattling ginger (graduate assistant football coach)so long to snitch, cause this would have been the one time where it would be perfectly acceptable? Well, wait we know why it was cause of the two asshole, pricks by the name of Tim Curely, the athletic director, and Gary Schultz, the senior vice president for finance and business and oversaw the Penn State police department. But more importantly the subject of this rant. And before I forget, this is a rant which is meant to be humorous.

And let’s not forget about this brat. The geriatric, self absorbed, self proclaimed football god who as one witness had said something to effect of, going up against the almighty Joe was like going up against the president. I mean it’s pretty sad that a guy who had one leg in an adult diaper and the other in the grave, had that much control all because he knew how to teach kids how to catch an oval shaped ball. Granted that it did bring in millions for the school, but letting a serial, boy hungry rapist get away with what he did done, well that is unforgivable. The fact that a man who had emphasized the importance of integrity, and respect was willing to not only let so many get hurt, but also risk his own integrity as well boggles the fucking mind. It case the same kinda mind fuck as trying to figure out why the hell we have an appendix. I mean we don’t really need it, and yet it’s there like an unsafe work environment, ya know a box factory where everybody there can only count to six on both hands if you count their thumps. I wonder if the appendix is like god’s little sick, macabre humorous self destruct button. He’s has enough of one of us, and boom the organ bursts and we get septic, shit our brains out and die. Why the hell do we need the damn thing? No, I can do better. That boggles the mind just like the question of whether we really need all the Baldwin brothers.

I mean besides Alec, all the others don’t do anything except hang around and making terrible movies. Does their existence really needed or necessary. If they weren’t around would we miss them? Anyway moving on.

Ya know when I look at the situation it reminds me of the show “Father Knows Best” on crack It also reminds me of the show “Lost In Space”, with the role of Dr. Zachary Smith having been played by Sandusky.
By the way what type of irresponsible parent would send their young son out into the wilderness of an uncharted planet with a creepy mincing boy hungry villain and a robot by the name of the B-9 who would server a better, and more useful purpose as an alarm clock? Cause that’s what Professor Robinson, the father of the Robinson family (yes the show was based on the “Swiss Family Robinson”) did every time it was the start of a new day. And on top of that he’d then send out his young beautiful teenage daughter out with their other tag a long, Space Corp. Major Donald West. The hot shot jet fighter. Hearing this, you tell me that this isn’t the perfect story line for a soft core porn, or a Spanish soap? But seriously if you crash land on a strange alien planet, wouldn’t make sense that instead of doing the typical, stupid thing and splitting everyone up to explore, maybe you should all stick together. And maybe you shouldn’t send you young boy off with the man who stowed away on your ship, and then reprogrammed your helper robot to kill all of you? I mean sending you daughter off with the pilot see a set up for her to become part of light year club. That’s several steps above the mile high club cause, your in outter space, your weightless, and semen floats around like the snowflakes in a snow globe. Yet, I have to ask this question again, why the hell would you send you prepubescent son child off with a creepy, Tony Robins, strippers with c-sections, Roman Polanski playing house creepy kinda guy? Like hearing you parents having sex through your bed room wall creepy. I mean the boy starved man was supposed to be a medical doctor, and a scientist, and an assassin.

The first part, the doctor, is never good cause that means he knows all the right places to put it. And by it I mean his penis. And they’re in outer space. That’s never good cause in outer space no one can hear you cream, or shiver from the trauma of being molested then become an alcoholic who drinks to forget the pain only to have the intoxication resurface the repressed memories resulting in depression, and then homicide ending with a suicide by cop. But, hey what did the 1950’s know about sexual abuse when they had “Leave It To Beaver”.

Honestly though, let me get back to the subject at hand. See, it’s a good thing that the statue of Joe Paterno has been taken down. Just about everything else everyone didn’t do equated to more than What Joe did, and the last thing we need is a bronzed figure to remind us of that.

Joe might as well have popped those boys butt cherries himself. And here’s what I don’t understand, Joe covered for a serial rapist for like 14 years, and yet he was supposed to be an honorable man. And this is a shinning example of one of the many things that higher education has to offer. The license to rape, and all because you got a special talent or position. At Penn State football was so loved that children were deemed worthless. Sports were the ultimate religion, and the staff were the gods. Joe was fucking Zeus, and hey, if Zeus says it’s okay for someone named Jerry Sandusky to butt fuck young boys then he must know best. Right?

If the kids had been lucky, Sandusky would have still been attracted to them as they got older and they might have gotten a scholarship. Wouldn’t that have been great? I mean that could have been offered as a package deal. Maybe Penn State should have opened a youth camp to curb Sandusky’s hunger,
but also to possibly have found a future football squad for Penn State. We all know the types that would have been selected; the youngest, disadvantaged, easily influenced boys who have been perfect molds, for Sandusky at least. And if not as athletes also, then maybe a party favor to pass around the Penn State staff. I mean in a sense that’s what Joe Patnero did. I mean he might as well have gift wrapped those boys, or maybe just have given Sandusky an ice cream truck and a stock pile of Tylenol PM.

But there’s something else that’s got me as well. You know what that is?

Well, and this is fantastic, the judge who was overseeing the proceedings decided in his infant wisdom that Sandusky could have supervised visits with his grand children. That’s like giving Michael Vick a job at an Animal Shelter. It would seem that a man who had 51 counts of child molestation wouldn’t necessarily get permission to see kids, whose ever they were, grand children or otherwise. I gotta say the whole ordeal from the first incident of “stranger danger” to Joe’s self serving press conference, the whole thing was handled with the efficiency of a back alley abortion. That’s our legal system for ya!

Thank god there was a conviction, at least the victims will get some sort of justice out of it. Still that’s not gonna change anything. Just give it some time, and regardless of the penalties leveled on the College by the NCAA, once football season starts all the hicks in the area, and the fans in general will be right back to loving Penn State. Despite it’s child raping staff, everything will be fine. All will be forgiven.

Ain’t this nation of ours great? Victims get abused by an institution, and they’ll suffer for the rest of their lives, and the institution that’s partly responsible will have it’s respect back by the next kick off. But maybe I should let somebody else finish, so I’ll just let comedian Jim Norton take over. And away we go!